Sunday, April 10, 2011

MSS6-Chen Meijie

1. It was during the middle of the night. There was an eerie silence except for the chime of the grandfather clock that stood fairly still in the living room, signaling the stroke of midnight. The keys in the lock turned, followed by the lights switched on. Carter Craig stood at the door with her handbag in her hand. She was about to call out gleefully to her husband when she saw it. She saw the corpse of her husband hanging by a rope, with his face as white as a sheet. Carter Craig dropped her handbag and struggled to hold on to anything so as to maintain her balance. There was a pool of blood on the floor, and his white shirt was soaked in blood. Carter Craig did not know whether to laugh or cry; she did not know if this was reality or she was just dreaming. The only thing she hoped for was that she would be safe. After coming to her senses, she quietly and calmly approached the corpse. She scanned the corpse for the source of the blood. There were 3 very obvious places; the back of Hardy Craig’s head, the middle of his back and his mouth was leaking of blood. After that, Carter Craig walked slowly towards the telephone. She hesitated on whether to call the police or not. Whenever she picked up the phone she dropped it. After a while, she managed to be brave and punched in the police number.
2. “ Hello? Police? Please come to Washington Street 67, 4th house from the start now…. A crime has occurred.”
3. In a jiffy, the police arrived. At first, there were only 3 junior police members but upon seeing the corpse and hearing Carter Craig’s story, 4 senior inspectors, the world’s famous detective; Hercule Poirot, 3 doctors, 10 police assistants, 2 fingerprint experts and 4 undertakers were brought in, one after the next. Hercule Poirot scanned the corpse took some notes and started to ask Carter Craig questions.
4. “ What time did you arrive?”
5. “ Well, when I stepped in the house, the grandfather’s clock in the living room just stroke 12, so if I am not wrong, it would be around 12 pm. “
6. “ Ok. The doctor had just informed me that the time of death is around 7:45 and he died from internal injuries and a very strong impact on the back of his head maybe by a heavy but blunt object. Do you have any blunt but heavy objects in your house, probably a frozen lamb or a hammer?”
7. “ Sorry, inspector. I am afraid that I do not keep anything frozen as I only buy things when I am ready to cook them and I do not refrigerate anything. I have a phobia of hammers after reading about the maid using a hammer to kill its employee and since do not buy hammers.”
8. “Ok, now, may I know what time you left and who else was at home.”
9. “ When I left, it was around 7 and the only person that was at home other that dear Handy was my 18-year old son, Howard. But he told me that he would be leaving around 7:30 to his friends house for a sleepover.”
10. “ Ok… does your husband have any enemies? Or had he been acting weirdly for the past few days?”
11. “ No. As far as I know, he was still as chatty and funny as always. Yesterday, he even told me about this joke about a man and a gorilla and we laughed really heartily. I really and truly don’t know how and why this happened! You must, Inspector! You must find the murderer and out him in jail! If not dear Handy would not die a peaceful death…”
12. “ Ok. We will try our best but to find out, we really need more information from you. Now, any other things you would like to add about your husband. Had anything like this happened before? And is there any bad blood in your family?”
13. Carter Craig hesitated and said: “ Sorry, inspector, I really do not have anything to add on, I really do not know much about my husband, he was a secretive man, oh Hardy. ”
14. Just then, a fingerprint expert walked towards Poirot and whispered something to him, they talked for about a minute before the fingerprint expert left. After the fingerprint expert left, Poirot continued to speak.
15. “ Well, the fingerprint expert had just traced that there were no signs of fingerprints on the corpse and it seemed that the murderer had been very clean, using a glove or something to prevent his fingerprints found. Now, may I ask if there is any gloves in your house?”
16. “ Well, there are a few gloves in my house. There is my mitten that I use to handle hot food. It is over there by the kitchen hook by the fridge. Also, there is another glove that I use for gardening. It is by the shed outside. There is also the hand protector that my son wears whenever he goes for his softball practice. Well, I think that that is about all the gloves I have at home.”
17. “Now, I thank you very much for your help. I will continue to update you to have whenever I have any leads. In the meantime, I would like you to take a nap and 2 police men would take turns to look after you in case by any chance the murderer comes back.”
18. After that, Carter Craig bade good-bye to Poirot and went back to her room. She went to her bed and thought about whatever that had happened. How was life going to go on for her without dear Handy? Life is going to be hell for me. After that, Carter Craig fell into a deep slumber. Meanwhile, Poirot was back in his office, analyzing the evidence. He flipped through his notes and thought of the possible suspects. Never had there been such a gruesome murder. Whoever killed him did not just want him to be dead but also wanted him to die a gruesome death. Whoever killed him bared a deep hatred towards him and that someone must have known the dead for some time. All the scene portrayed was a broken window on the first floor that was facing the roads and blood. But if there was a broken window the neighbour who lived in the house opposite claimed that he was out the whole night did not see anyone breaking in but heard a glass breaking sound at around 7? This was not an easy case the witness could be lying. Just when he was looking at the information from Carter Craig, he found a lead. He picked up his phone and called Carter Craig. Carter Craig answered and she immediately asked: “ Any leads? Found the murderer?…”
19. “ Stay calm. We are trying our best. But now, we need your help. Is your son home?”
20. “ Yes. He just came back from his sleepover.”
21. “ Now, may I know if it is possible for us to come over and have a chat with him?”
22. “ Well, I think yes but be quick. He might be going out soon.”
23. “ Ok. We will be on our way now. Please do not let him leave. This is urgent matter. Thank you” and with that I shut my phone and hopped into my car. I sped to 13 Carlze Street and knocked on the door. A rather gruffly looking man answered and asked: “ Who are you? What are you doing here? No place for a gentleman please.” With that, he slammed the door in my face. Undeterred, I rang the doorbell again. This time, Carter Craig answered the door. She immediately said: “ Hello there, Poirot! Sorry for the misunderstanding just now! Come in come in! You know, my son was in a bad mood after learning about his father’s death. What would you like to talk to him about? He’s in his bedroom upstairs playing with his computer.”
24. “ Thank you very much Carter. Excuse me for a while as I shall go upstairs to meet him.” After that, I went up the stairs and went to Howard Craig’s room.
25. “ Good morning Howard Craig! Good to see you. Please stay calm while I ask you some questions.”
26. “ Ok sure. What should I be scared about?”
27. Poirot smiled and said: “ What time did you leave the house yesterday night?”
a. “ 7.’’
28. “ Ok. What was your father doing when you left?”
29. “ Oh that chap. He was hurling vulgar on the phone. Like always.”
30. “ Oh really. Anyway, what were you doing then?
a. “ Oh me. I was playing this awesomely cool game on my computer.”
31. “ Howard Craig! You are under arrest for the death if your father, Handy Craig!”
32. Upon hearing this, Howard screamed and ran towards the door but was unfortunately blocked by several policemen that were standing by the door.
33. “Howard Craig, now I want you to tell me honestly. Was it you who hanged your father, Hardy Craig? Tell me honestly and perhaps you would get a lighter sentence.”
34. “ NO! It was not me.”
35. “Say that again!”
36. “ NO! It was not me!”
37. “ That it might as well be your mother Carter Craig! Guards Catch her!”
38. “ Hey wait! It was me, ok! Me, Howard Craig who did it! It had nothing to do with mother. Arrest me!”
39. Upon hearing this, the policemen stopped in their tracks and handcuffed Howard Craig! Just when Howard Craig and the policemen were about to leave, Hercule Poirot stopped them, turned to Howard Craig and said: “ What was your motive? REVENGE?”
40. “ YES! REVENGE! I HATE HIM! I HATE THAT STUPID HARDY CRAIG! IN FACT, I AM NOT HOWARD CRAIG! I AM HOWARD GULLIVER! MY REAL DAD’S GEORGE GULLIVER! HE KILLED MY DAD! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES! My father was George Gulliver! When I was young, he showered me with love and care but when I was 3, my mother started coming home late, started having a guy bring her home, and started to have many arguments with my dad, George. One day, when my dad was out, mother and her lover, HARDY CRAIG, came in to the house. They went into the master bedroom and locked the door. I placed my ear at the door and listened to their conversation. I heard mother say: “ Hardy! We should marry!” and Hardy replying: “ Yes! We should! I love you a lot you know!” And Mother saying : “ Yeah! Me too! But, Howard…and George. He would never agree to a divorce!” Hardy suddenly replied coldly: “ I’ve got a plan. I will come in tomorrow night and…” Their voice turned softer and softer and I could not hear their next words…The next night, I came back home and found daddy George unconscious, in other words dead. There was a stab wound in his back and a gun shot on his head. A pool of blood formed on the floor. Daddy was dead! I cried and cried and vowed to take revenge one day one day! I did not say anything ot the police about this and Hardy that freak went away with his crime. A week later, Hardy moved in and married mother! He tried to act kind soul and told me he would be the best dad in the world! Of course, I gave him the cold shoulder. I made sure that he would die a worse death than my father! And I did it yesterday. And I smashed the window from the inside and brought the pieces inside the house to let the police think that someone broke in. But I could’nt fool you. I HATE HIM! THAT STUPID IDIOT HARDY CRAIG! HE IS BETTER OFF DEAD!”
41. Howard became agitated and tried to smash his head against the wall but was restrained by the police. Hercule Poirot was shocked at his discovery and went down to relate the whole story to Carter Craig. Also, he arrested Carter Craig for the death of George Gulliver. This was the saddest case that Hercule Poirot had ever came across as all along he had believed that family was the most important things in life. (2070)

21 comments:

  1. If it was midnight, then it was not 12pm.
    Para 31 of murder not if murder

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  2. why must the mrs craig decide over laughing or crying?

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  3. She should be sad, instead of having the laughing choice.

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  4. nice story but why would the police suspect one then another, then another?

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  5. Manta (Fong Ken Rui)April 11, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    I am quite lost through the story. Until now I am still confused about the characters and their identities.

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  6. How did they knew that it is Howard who committed the crime through the interview?

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  7. Nice. Use the bond between the mother and son to make son confess. Good. Keep it up!!!

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  8. Why the police threatened? Police normally don't threaten.

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  9. Normally Hercule poirot has an italian accent. And if murderer's mother also had a part in his beloved father's murder, how can he still love his mother so much that he sacrifices himself for her? you should show how poirot deduces that Howard is murderer. if not reader gets confused. at least let poirot explain at end.
    And why in the middle of the story, poirot becomes "I" for a while, then turns back to Poirot again?

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  10. "How was life going to go on for her without dear Handy? Life is going to be hell for me. " Why "her" then "I"? Also, at the back, you said "I...." but I don't know whose the "I". But I really love your story! Especially your motive for murder is good!

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  11. Why is Carter Craig arrested when she did not commit any crime? And how did Hercuel Poirot suddenly become"I" in the story? And why did Hardy Craig become Handy Craig? Is it handy or hardy? But a good plot!

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  12. How did the detective know the murderer through that interview? I am a little confused through the character's identities! However, I like your plot very much! Keep it up! :) :D :P

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  13. I think that this story is too informal. This proves that the author is NOT serious, which is not very acceptable. The story should be more formal, and only then will it improve. You narrate the story the way we talk to each other daily.

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  14. Mei Jie:
    Word of advice. Please make it clear which clues did H. Poirot use to deduce Howard as the murderer, and also describe his thinking. Don't you remember, we need to characterise well? Also, try and find more clues. As always, no one can solve a case with just one clue, unless it comes directly from the criminal, as in my story (which I haven't sent yet.) There are just to much other people to pick from. You need to single out the guy or girl, not just thing that he or she could be it because of one clue. This clue could also apply to so many others.

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  15. If i add the following as my last paragraph, would it be better?


    At this time, the senior chief police officer walked up to Andrew Thomas and said: “ Hey Thomas! Wait up! How did you deduce that it was Howard all along!”
    Andrew Thomas gave a grin and said : “ Fact is, the glass was not broken at 7. I went to look up on old-man Drake and found out that he had Senile Dementia for a long long time and besides, his daughter told me that he was not even at home at that time, he had gone for a medical check-up and the doctor had said that his dementia had worsened. Also, remember when I asked Carter Craig whether there was any bad blood in the family, she was hesitant and if you had not noticed in that split second, you would have missed the clue. She was taking her IC from her pocket and slowly chucking it under the desk. Also, you could see her shocked expression upon that question. At the same time, when she answered me, she had mumbled it softly, displaying the fact that she was nervous and was hiding something. What’s more, facts confirmed everything when I went to check out their family background. Also, Howard had a blog and on that blog he had displayed his entire hatred towards Hardy Craig. He posted much vulgar and besides, if he did not know vulgar, then how did he know that his father was speaking vulgar? So, with all this evidence pointing to him, it MUST be him!”
    The senior chief police officer stared at Andrew Thomas in amazement and his admiration rose a level.

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  16. @ Mei Jie: if you add that para, it would certainly make it better.

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  17. If i were to change the hercule Poirot to Andrew Thomas (random name).

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  18. This story is quite confusing and i don't really understand it.

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  19. @Solomon amd Ken Rui: Maybe you could use up your brain juice analysing, then you will know what it means!(Word of advice)

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  20. Did HP read lamb to the slaughter??? Hp = Hercule poirot not harry potter

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