Sunday, April 10, 2011

MSS5-Wui Guan

Chicken of a Man’s Blood
1. Mrs. Chew hummed along to a childhood tune as she spread the sauce on the chicken. There she was, quietly waiting for her husband’s return. She placed the meat in the fridge as she sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV, cool and relaxed.
2. Mrs. Chew’s hair was short and straight, with an average height. The HDB flat that she and her husband lived in was a 4 room flat, as the income of her husband working as an employee at a petrol station was not high. Nevertheless, they were both happy with their life and were satisfied with their current lifestyle. Or at least Mr. Chew thought so.
3. Mrs. Chew actually liked another man. She wanted to divorce Mr. Chew as soon as possible. Her thoughts were disrupted when Mr. Chew opened the door and walked into the house. He looked as if he had something up his sleeve. “Hello, love.” He murmured. Suddenly, he broke out in a huge smile and said: “I won the 5 million dollar prize of the big sweep!”
4. Mrs. Chew was taken aback by this piece of news. No, she was not really happy for her husband. She was jealous as she wanted to divorce Mr. Chew soon. How could she get the money? “Why, let me pour us a drink to celebrate this good news!” she told Mr. Chew.
5. As she went into the kitchen to fetch the whisky, she saw a bottle of sleeping pills. She had an idea. After putting a sleeping pill into her husband’s drink, she went into the living room and gave him the glass. After a short while, Mr. Chew had fell asleep, right on the sofa.
6. At this point of time, Mrs. Chew thought of how rich she would be if she got hold of the ticket. All the greed inside her blinded her thoughts, as she walked into the kitchen to fetch the gloves and knife that were used to cut and marinate the chicken. Standing in front of Mr. Chew, she impaled the knife into his heart. After that, she grabbed the ticket from his hand and stuffed it into her pocket.
7. She took off the gloves and put the gloves and knife in the basin. Then, she messed up the house, tossing everything around as if a robber had entered the house. Then, she broke the lock of the door open with a lock pick. Then, she left the house with her hand phone, and waited for the police to call.
8. It was about 2 hours later when her hand phone rang. Mrs. Chew answered the call calmly, trying to pretend that she was out grocery shopping. “Hello, is this Mrs. Chew speaking?” A deep voice said rather urgently. “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mrs. Chew answered. Just act normal, as if nothing happened, she thought. “Your husband is dead, and we need to get evidence and find the culprit.”
9. Mrs. Chew pretended to be scared and to rush home as fast as possible. She had bought a few potatoes and some broccoli so as to seem that she was doing grocery shopping. When Mrs. Chew reached her home, and she saw her husband slumped on the sofa, with a huge bloodstain in the middle of his chest, Mrs. Chew cried out loudly. As she had planned, her neighbors discovered her house “broken into” and called the police.
10. The detective told Mrs. Chew that her husband had been killed by a stab directly into the heart. They were finding the murder weapon, and he asked Mrs. Chew if there was anything missing in the house. At this point of time, a policeman walked up to the detective and showed him the bloody knife and gloves. Mrs. Chew simply showed them the marinated chicken and the sauce, which was a dark red with brown. She explained that she was going to wash them after she was done with her shopping.
11. After doing a luminol test, results showed that there was blood on the gloves and knife. However, it could have been the chicken’s blood as Mrs. Chew bought it as a whole chicken. Now that they were back to square one, the police wanted to question Mrs. Chew about the incident. She told the police about how her husband had won the big sweep, and her suspicion that it could have been a robbery.
12. Due to the blood of the chicken being present, the police were not able to conduct blood tests at all, limiting the methods of finding evidence. Also, the police had searched the place but found no other useful information. When the police finally left, Mrs. Chew dashed to the phone and called her lover. “Honey, I won the big sweep! Don’t worry, my husband’s been taken care of……” (801)

23 comments:

  1. Nice story, short and sweet! But not enough characterization. Well done !

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  2. Why would Mrs. CHew want to break he lock openn if she has the keys?

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  3. great story! But the part about the police not being able to conduct blood test is a bit weird. Chicken blood should not affect the test.

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  4. a little bit like lamb to the slaughter. did you copy?

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  5. I researched on the effects of luminoil. They detect blood, ant type of blood. So too bad. :P

    Anyway, to make it seem like a robbery, the lock has to be broken, right? You can't say the robber knocked on the door and begged Mr. Chew to let him in......

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  6. 7. She took off the gloves and put the gloves and knife in the basin. Then, she messed up the house, tossing everything around as if a robber had entered the house. Then, she broke the lock of the door open with a lock pick. Then, she left the house with her hand phone, and waited for the police to call.

    Excessive use of "then".

    Overall, a nice story, but there are chemicals thta can differentiate between chicken blood and human blood, so, I think the plot is not completely perfect.

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  7. @Wanqi: Lamb to the slaughter, SINGAPORE STYLE! :D

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  8. Manta (Fong Ken Rui)April 11, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Not lamb to the slaughter, chicken to the slaughter!
    But I think the story is very, and I mean very, similiar, to the lambchop story.

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  9. Good story, really good.
    I love lamb to the slaughter, so it brings me to love this story too. Mrs Chew so evil, go steal other people's big sweep...

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  10. Mrs Chew a bit too bad, outside go have boyfriend, then kiil the poor husband.


    Good work. keep it up.

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  11. @WuiguanXP, I agree!

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  12. Sweet Story. Tip; Dont use too many overloaded words like then to make they story more easier and not boring with the same words

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  13. there is also another way Mrs chew can kill mr chew. she can just simply put a lot of sleeping pills in his drink. you can try saying that and this story can be more original instead of just a SGP version of "lamb to the slaughter". and how come mr chew reacts so quickly to sleeping pills?

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  14. A very good plot! But won't the police officers take the knife away to check if it's chicken blood or human blood? Good story!

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  15. Good story, but not enough characterizasion.

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  16. Excess sleeping pills can kill people

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  17. Nice story, I like it! However, with more descriptions, it will be even better! =)

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  18. I am sure that the investigators will find a way to find human blood inside the chicken blood too. By using chemicals to analyse all the blood on the knife.

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  19. @Zi Run: A little out of point, I think?

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  20. Singapore version of Lamb to the slaughter? nice and cool! I totally loved it but if i were you, i would wonder if Mr Yap would mark me down for slightly copying.

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  21. Nice plot, Wui Guan! But yes, they could send the kinfe sample for DNA testing and compare it to the chicken blood and Mr Chew's blood. Also, when you mess up the house, there will be fingerprints and the police will look for fingerprints. They could then try to accuse Mrs Chew. Hence, I think the story would be better if you enlarged it to include this points.

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  22. Nice story just that it is a little like lamb to the slaughter, though. Maybe you could try to improve it by chaging some ideas?

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  23. Nice story but this is a lot like lamb to the slaughter. Maybe you could change some ideas to make it more original?

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