1. It was a bright and sunny Saturday morning. Neither Mrs. Granger nor her husband had to go to work. Mrs. Granger was getting very excited as this was the day that she could retaliate for what her husband had done. Lately, her husband had been completely ignoring her and forgetting about her. He had spent very little time with her, although it was not because his workload was heavy. Instead, he had been hanging around with friends until 3am in the morning lately. Mrs. Granger had been so upset and heartbroken by him. And today, she decided to get rid of this unloving and uncaring husband of hers. While going through the process in which she had planned to kill her husband and pretend that nothing had happened and to cover up for the crime, that usually calm and sweet face and harmless eyes had shown an evil expression with the intention to use violence or kill.
2. Mrs. Granger woke up an hour earlier than usual to make breakfast without her husband seeing. That day, she had planned to make bread with marmalade jam and a nice hot cup of coffee. After brewing the coffee, she poured the coffee into two cups and poured some cyanide into one of the cups – the one meant for her husband. After that, she proceeded to make the bread.
3. Just as Mrs. Granger had finished spreading the marmalade jam on all pieces of bread, her husband woke up. “Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well?” Mrs. Granger asked.
4. “Well, I slept soundly. What is for breakfast this morning?”
5. “I have made you a fresh cup of coffee and some nice marmalade bread. I knew you would like this.”
6. “Mmm, this smells great! Thank you, darling!”
7. After that, Mrs. Granger and Mr. Granger started to dig into their breakfast. They had kept quiet for most of the time. Unfortunately, after Mr. Granger had finished his bread and his cup of coffee, he suddenly went unconscious and fell to the floor with a loud thud. She hurriedly cleared up all the plates, washed them, and went back to bed, making the house look like nothing had happened and that an unknown person came into the house and killed Mr. Granger.
8. After about one and a half hours, Mrs. Granger woke up again. She repeatedly told herself to stay calm while reporting to the police and not to reveal to the detectives directly that she had killed Mr. Granger. She also told herself to cover up and not make it seem that she had killed her husband. Those eyes that were filled with hatred and evil intentions would now have to seem worried and scared. She calmly approached the telephone and telephoned the police department. She told the operator her home address, and asked him to send the investigators quickly.
9. Soon after, the policemen came together with a detective and a doctor. He was wearing a brown coat and hat, and had a moustache. He also wore a pair of black sunglasses. “My name is Detective Gil Grissom. Nice to meet you.” The detective took off his sunglasses and shook hands with Mrs. Granger. He then proceeded to take a seat on the couch together with Mrs. Granger.
10. “Now tell me exactly what happened,” Detective Grissom asked.
11. “I... I was in bed when my husband woke up,” Mrs. Granger replied, “I could feel him getting out of bed but I continued to sleep. When I woke up, I tried calling him but there was no reply. I felt that something was strange. So I went to the dining room and found him lying on the floor near the table. I tried to whisper into his ears but there was still reply. That was when I decided to call the police.”
12. “Hey, Grissom, there does not seem to be any wound or stuff like that,” one of the policemen announced.
13. “Is he dead?” Mrs. Granger asked in an uncertain voice.”
14. “He seems to be dead to me,” the doctor said. “I think that he had most likely died of poisoning or natural causes like heart failure or stuff like that.”
15. “Did your husband have any underlying health problems?” Detective Grissom asked Mrs. Granger.
16. “I guess so,” Mrs. Granger replied. “He was a heavy smoker and smoked a cigarette thrice a day. He would also hang out with friends and drink alcohol.”
17. “I think I am going to send this body to the lab to find out the cause of death,” the doctor said.
18. “Great. Thanks, Doctor Robbins,” Detective Grissom replied. Soon after that, the doctor left together with the policemen, leaving Gil Grissom and Mrs. Granger alone in the house.
19. “Do you mind if I take a look around the house while you stay here?” Detective Grissom asked Mrs. Granger.
20. “Nope, you can have a look around my apartment as you wish,” Mrs. Granger replied. Hence, Detective Grissom started scavenging the house for anything he thought could have been the murder weapon.
21. When Detective Grissom opened one of the kitchen cabinets, he discovered a can of cyanide, or rat poison. He took the can of cyanide and brought it to Mrs. Granger. He asked her, “What do you use this can of cyanide for?”
22. “Oh, 3 months ago my house was infested with rats, but now although there are no more rats, I still keep the can.” Mrs. Granger said.
23. Just then, Detective Grissom had received a call from the doctor. “Grissom, autopsy results have shown that Mr. Granger was killed by … cyanide.”
24. “Thanks, Robbins. I will follow up.”
25. Detective Grissom then turned back to Mrs. Granger. “Looks like your husband was killed by the same substance. Was this bottle of cyanide used to kill your husband?”
26. “No, I mean, I do not know. I was not the one who killed him.”
27. “I think that I will send this can of cyanide to the lab to check for fingerprints. I will come back tomorrow afternoon to tell you the results. Goodbye for now.”
28. The next day at noon, Detective Grissom arrived at Mrs. Granger’s house. After Mrs. Granger had opened the door and invited him in, Grissom said pointing to the can of cyanide, “Only your fingerprints were found on this can of cyanide. It all comes down to one statement: you had killed your husband.”
29. “Yes, I did,” Mrs. Granger admitted. “He had lately been not caring for me and I decided to kill him to get revenge.”
30. “Mrs. Granger, you are coming with me to the police station. Further action will be taken against you there.” Grissom proceeded to handcuff her and bring her to the police station. (1133)
i do not think that Mrs granger would surrender so easily. fact: a person cannot be killed overnight by smoking (or that was what i know). i do not think just because mr granger was hanging out with friends and her wife would want to kill him. e.g. your teenage daughter hangs out with her friends. you would not kill her, would you?
ReplyDeleteThis essay is similiar to the lamb to the slaughter. This is getting boring. At least a third of the class is writing along these lines. Something fresh, pls.
ReplyDelete@Marcus
ReplyDeleteMr. Granger was not killed by smoking!
How can the wife kill the husband JUST because he hung out with friends a lot? And how come mrs. granger does not even bother 2 wipe her fingerprints off the can? and how come she can confess without any emotional reactions? Also, try to be more original. This is SO like lamb to the slaughter.
ReplyDeletehow can the wife be so uncaring and not understand his husband?
ReplyDeletemaybe the husband wanted to have a break.
maybe you like to elaborate on this part.
Timothy, the time sequence is incorrect. An autopsy would take about a week, and then to send the body fluids to the toxicologist, and for the toxicologist to analyse the fluids, would then take about 7 more days. Also, to look for Mrs. granger's fingerprints in the database and find it by the next day is impossible. Firstly, her fingerprints cannot be in the data base unless she had been an ex-criminal, a civil service member, or had gone through a background check when employed. So, the dective should have gotten more information. In a real case, eveyone is a suspect. Information must be taken from all of them no matter what.
ReplyDeleteParagraph 30==> should be brought instead of bring
ReplyDeleteParagraph 7==> I thought the cup of coffee would lay shattered on the floor. There should also be some traces of coffee on the ground
Maybe you could elaborate on why and how the husband made her angry rather than just sayiong that he did not care for her. This would allow the reader to understand why she murdered him in the first place
ReplyDeleteYou should elaborate on why the wife wanted to kill the husband. You used the word 'lately', which sugegsts that it happened recently. Normally, only when a husband does that for a very very looonnnng time, then the wife would take action. Also, divorce seems like a better choice.
ReplyDeleteYou said the husband did not talk to the wife, but he talked to her in the first few paragraphs when he woke up/
ReplyDeletei went to read up about cyanide, and the effect is not immediately dropping down dead. It can involve headache, drowsiness, vertigo, weak and rapid pulse, deep and rapid breathing, a bright-red color in the face, nausea and vomiting. Convulsions, dilated pupils, clammy skin, a weaker and more rapid pulse and slower, shallower breathing can follow these symptoms. Finally, the heartbeat becomes slow and irregular, body temperature falls, the lips, face and extremities take on a blue color, the individual falls into a coma, and death occurs.
ReplyDeleteunderstand? I know i'm a little bit naggy.
Unlikely that thwe wife would confess. she would at least try to deny.
ReplyDelete@timothy i meant that it was a bad excuse
ReplyDeleteInsufficient evidence and isn't it natural for somebody who lives in the house to use the rat poison, must it be her? The culprit might have used a glovE! Also, i totally disagree with the part that the wife would kill the husband just because he ignored her for a while.
ReplyDeletethe clue is obvious, iit may ruin the story. Please try to make the process a lil more difficult and challenging.
ReplyDeleteAs i've said, the effect of cyanide lasts longer than what you have portrayed.did you do a research on it? probably not, but u can next time.
how can mrs granger kill her husband just because her husband hanged out with his friends late at night? As if his friends were some other women.
this is like lamb to the slaughter, as people have said. Please try to be more original.
Can't the cyanide be held by Mrs Granger? Could be that she held it 3 months ago to spray on rats, but the fingerprints still there? It would be wierd if there were no fingerprints at all...
ReplyDeleteYhe end of the story is too brief. Also, its illogical to kill your husband just because he ignore you. It is highly impossible. Obvious that it is just some excuse for the cause of the murder. Perhaps Timothy could use some other reasons for this? :D These comments are not to hurt you, I was just saying the truth. So do not get too angry or sad.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Yi Lin. Normally, the wife wouldn't just kill her husband because he ignored you. Also, the cyanide can was in Mrs Granger's house; she used it to kill the rats. Perhaps the murderer wore gloves? But good plot and story! :P
ReplyDeleteIthink that there should not have been an autopsy, the detective should have decovered then and there that the victim had a funny smell of almonds in his mouth. that means that he consumed food spiked with cyanide. I dont read DC for nothing.
ReplyDeleteIts too short. Maybe the detective could have deducted that maybe the murderer have worn gloves, and mrs granger should not have admittec it so quickly intstead she could have said that how do you know mr granger was killed by her rat poison and she had her fingerprints on it bcos she used it to get rid of the rats. maybe you have had her crying at the end. also the detectives cant just conclude that the guy was killed by that rat poison. if u have to, u could maybe say that they tested all the cutlery for poison and only the cup that the guy always used had traces of poison on it.
ReplyDeleteStory too abrupt ending. @Fong Ken Rui, there is only three people who are writing similar to lamb to the slughter, not one third. But I agree that the story is lamb to the slughter in similar ways.
ReplyDeleteToo abrupt an ending. You did not mention that the wife's fingerprint was there. Otherwise, it is not a bad story.
ReplyDelete