Sample 17

Sample 17
1 On that stormy New Year’s Eve night, I laid on the sofa, in half-awareness of what happened around me, on that New Year’s Eve. It was brought to my attention when the radio broadcast was interrupted by an unusual message. “Attention, attention. Please send $100 via mail to Jurong East, house number 13. If the money is not sent, you will be murdered, if it is reported to the police, your whole family will be murdered, not only you.” Then the message ended abruptly. I laid motionless, petrified and guilty. If I did not tell the police, what a selfish person I am! I thought. I gazed at window, and I set off, towards the police station, along on that stormy night…
2 There I was, at the police station. Two police officers approached me, and said “What do you want?” I explained everything to the police officers. The chief police marched towards me, and asked “is that true”? “Yes it is.” We got into the police car, and we head off to the criminal’s apartment…
3 “One, two, three, Budge!” The chief police commanded. We found the apartment empty. “Search every crook and cranny for any clue on the criminal!” After a fruitless hour, the chief officer announced, “Looks like we have to call in Joah.”
4 Joah the detective came into the house and started the investigation. He soon discovered the criminal’s identity as Thornton.
5 We got back into the police car, where we drove off towards Thornton’s house. The wind was so strong that the car had a hard time resisting it. Upon approaching Thornton house, a loud gunshot was heard. A bullet zoomed into our car, almost hitting me on my heart, fired by Percival, Thornton’s assistant. We drove into the lawn, and got out of the car, as we towards the door.
6 We greeted by a loud gunshot when we entered. Thornton’s two brothers, Jacques and Jonathan both sprang an ambush at each police officers, where they collapsed onto the ground, moaning in pain at their wounds on their legs. The chief police officer arrested Jacques and Jonathan. We continued our progress towards Thornton as another shot hit Joah through the door. Joah dropped to the ground unconscious. The chief police ran into the room. I stayed outside the room, and conducted first aid on Joah and the two other police officers.
7 Thornton and his secretary pointed their guns at the chief police. “Say your last words or…” Before Thornton can finish speaking, the lights went out. I put on my night goggles, and crept over to the secretary, where I kicked the secretary and picked up his gun. “Ouch!” the secretary screamed in pain as he fainted after the chief police shot him with his revolver. The light flickered and went on. Percival sprang from under the desk, firing at Thornton. “Percival, You betrayer!” Thornton hissed at Percival, as he died of his wound.
8 In the end, everyone who is involved in commting the crime was sentenced to three years jailing except for Percival, who killed three radio managers and hijacked the radio station, who was sentenced to death. Joah and the two police officers recovered from their injuries too. I was also praised for being daring as a primary school student in assisting the case. (549)