Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sample 15

Sample 15
1 “Lalala…” I hummed as I packed my bag for the holiday trip. “8th December 2011. Trip to San Francisco.” I read the words on the calendar. “Let’s see, clothes, passport, sunblock lotion, portable radio and…Oh I’m done! Let’s go!”
2 I made my way to the Singapore Changi Airport and boarded the airplane. An announcement was made I settled down, “We will be taking off in 5 minutes. Please enjoy your flight on flight SQ1.”
3 After 18 hours on the plane, the plane touched down at San Francisco International Airport. I checked into a hotel and rested on the armchair. The time read “05.45 A.M.” I took out my portable radio and listened to the news. “Channel 98.5 FM, Channel 101.3 FM, oh I know, Channel 183.0 FM!” The radio started blaring.
4 Just then, the radio crackled, “This is an important announcement; we are issuing a mandatory evacuation in San Francisco. This is an earthquake warning, I repeat AN EARTHQUAKE WARNING!” But the warning came too late.
5 “Rumble…Crash!” the building started to crash in. I ducked under a table as the fan crashed onto the tabletop. There was a huge dent on the underside of the table where was hiding under. At least I could see outside as the window was unharmed. I saw a school building collapse as I felt the building tip over. Car alarms wailed as the ground cracked open. The hotel started leaning into the crack.
6 “Help!” I screamed raucously. I felt the building tip even further and further into the crack. Just when all hope was lost, the rumblings stop. “Phew…” I thought as relief flooded through me. The building was tilted at an angle of 60 degrees. It was a dangerous situation to be in.
7 “Rumble…” the ground shook again. This time, the whole city shook like crazy. People screamed at the top of their voices. Anarchy gushed upon the entire city. Furniture slid across the ground, ramming against the wall. Power line after power line snapped. San Francisco became dark.
8 The hotel seemed to come alive. I held on for my dear life to one of the table legs. Cement rained down on the table. Whole stories crashed onto the lower stories. Along a section of the Golden Gate Bridge, the road gave way. Cars fell into the water, to their dooms.
9 No building structure was safe. Even the cranes at the docks could not withstand the force of the earthquake. The cranes buckled and crashed onto the boxes, ships and trucks.
10 Finally, the roaring stopped. I crawled out of underneath the table. The room was in a mess. It was as if a tornado had torn through the room. The fan was wrecked, the door flew off its hinges, and the ceiling had cracks in it. Without further ado, I crawled out to the hallway. I was just in time because as soon as I crawled out, the ceiling gave way. Everything from the room above mine crashed onto my room.
11 I managed to find a way out of the wrecked hotel. Outside, it was a catastrophe. There was a huge crack in the ground. Cars lay overturned. The hotel which originally had 20 stories was left with only 14. Something glowed in the horizon. I squinted my eyes and realized that minor fires had started.
12 Left with nothing to do, I managed to activate the portable radio. The only channel was Channel 101.1 FM. “Two earthquakes, the first of an 8.9 magnitude and the second of a 9.3 magnitude have hit San Francisco. Relief is coming to San Francisco. The estimated total deaths are going to hit approximately 5,000. It is expected to rise.” I was heartbroken to hear that and my heart filled with sorrow.
13 “It would take about 5 years to rebuild San Francisco, workers and contractors estimate.” The broadcaster continued. It was the worst natural disaster in San Francisco and I hope the city would be rebuilt and the fires would be put out. (665)

29 comments:

  1. realistic story
    good job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. where did you come from? certainly not san fransico. But why did your portable radio anounce San Fransisco news?
    good job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. good description. but isn't 5000 too little for a 8.9 and 9.3?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Of course not even japan tsunami already 3000 deaths

    ReplyDelete
  5. how did u know that the building was at 60 degrees?

    ReplyDelete
  6. yes agree w jia xin and 5 years? too less to rebuild

    ReplyDelete
  7. how come got two earthquakes

    ReplyDelete
  8. If the building was tilting 6 degrees, wouldn't it continue tilting due to the weight? How did the author get out of the buiding when it was tilting like that?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Quite an exciting story. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Earthquake... good job! But it was impossible for someon eto get out of a tilting building

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not realistic. Seismologist can predict eathquakes long before they happen.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Quite good description, but how can the radio station people be still broadcasting after the earthquake?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Replies to comments

    @Fong Ken Rui:
    The telephone lines broke down before anyone could be notified

    @Solomon and Mei Jie
    Miraculously, the building stopped tilting. The author was pretty lucky, right?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Singapore --> FM radio station
    San Francisco--> some other radio station
    note that every country/state has a different radio station.

    With earthquakes as strng as you have said, the windows WILL be harmed.

    San fransisco is a modern city, most power lines should be underground and not affected by earthquakes.

    An interesting read. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well done! =D

    However, how did the author get out of the building if it was tilting 60 degrees? Did the whole building crash then the author escape? If so, the author should be injured or dead.

    ReplyDelete
  16. If the building was tilted at 60 degrees, how would the author be able to get out of the building? Besides, how did the author know the angle was exactly 60 degrees.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Why is the author relieved when the building is tilting at 60 degress? And what do you mean by "The hotel seemed to come alive"? However, this still a good story.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is a good story and very realistic. there is only one problem. The bigger magnitute earthquake should come first and the second one as an aftershock. A suggestion for you would be to say that you were trying to get out of that place when the aftershock struck.

    ReplyDelete
  19. A little bit that I would like to touch on. You see, 8.9 AND 9.3 earthquakes at the same time is rather weird, not saying that it's impossible though. Furthermore, @Wei Zhen: The death + missing toll is already 26k, mind you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. @Zhen Hui:
    The first was the main earthquake, the other was an aftershock. Have you heard of an aftershock? In earthquakes its just a slightly less powerful earthquake.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wonderful story! I should say it's one of the best I have read... Very good description. But, how do you know the building was tilted at 60 degrees when you are inside the building? But really a very good story.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wonderful story!! I like it very much! Good vocab and descriptions!

    ReplyDelete
  23. How did the author know that the building was tilting at EXACTLY 60 degrees?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Matthew Wong Chun KitMarch 26, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    The San Andreas Fault (the fault that causes any quake in SF) is miles away. SO, there won't be a fissure where the hotel was. Also, the Goden Gate Bridgecan't crumple. At most, the road would "whip lash"; an effect of quakes that causes suspension bridges to flop about in a quake. And if it was on soft seabed, it would topple. No crumpling. Also, how can you escape a 50-storey building when it has crashed on top of you?

    ReplyDelete
  25. @ Wei Zhen: What a lucky person. How lucky...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yes the person was lucky. Even if the hotel only tilted 60 degrees, the hotel should have crumbled down. And please explain: how did the person climb out of the hotel which was tilting 60 degrees?

    ReplyDelete
  27. @MWCK Please note that the building is not 50 stories. it is 20. also this is EL lesson not science or math or whatever un-understanble facts lesson
    the story was good. very good. but how you know the building tilt at exactly 60 degrees??

    ReplyDelete