Sample 12
1 The whole city was dark, quiet, except for a few stray cats rummaging in bins for food, away from the bright streetlamps, and a single light in a window, where metal rock music was heard. Suddenly the music reached a crescendo, and a cat at the foot of the flat hissed and spitted angrily.
2 “Oh yeah…” I shouted, as the music came to an end. Then I smashed the tennis racket which I had been strumming to the electrical guitar music played on the radio on the floor. “Oops.” That was the third tennis racket I’ve smashed, as if I played the sport at all.
3 “And that was the music by…” The DJ referenced the composer. I took a glance on the hanging clock on the wall. Thirty minutes after twelve! It was really getting late and I should be in bed, but when I was about to switch off the radio, the station played my favourite piece, and I can’t resist. It was about fifteen seconds into the music when the drumbeats died out and the whole music was replaced by an annoying buzzing sound. Then what sounds like a news report was broadcasted.
4 “We interrupted this program with a shocking piece of news. The country’s military station detected a group of B-2 spirit stealth bombers of unknown nationality heading our way. It was thought to be arriving in two hours. Head for the bomb shelters now! I repeat. We-”
5 I thought I have heard wrongly. A bombing raid is going to happen? But that’s highly unlikely. Nevertheless, I decide to play safe.
6 “Mum! Dad!” I shook them awake, and they told me off for waking them up, then I showed them the broadcast, which was still playing.
7 “But that’s un-”
8 “Yes, I know, but better play safe than be sorry.”
9 So my parents, my younger brother and I crept into the bomb shelter, bringing the radio and some supplies with us. But there was no one else, and I was getting a bit suspicious. But I’ll still stick to playing safe.
10 The shelter was dark and stuffy. My younger brother was afraid of the dark so he began crying, then he fell asleep. Soon, the rest of us did the same too, unwary that the station was broadcasting some ridiculous messages.
11 “The ground troops are entering the grounds with nuclear grenades! Everybody flee for your life. You are about to be blasted by an A-bo-, no, H-Bomb!”
12 Just then, my father woke up with a snort, in time to here the station broadcasting the message, “If you believe this whole heap of rubbish for three hours, you’re really an idiot. If you are squatting in a bomb shelter, well, I don’t know what to say.”
13 Dad wasn’t very surprised. The only thing he was surprised about is that the radio station still dares to talk to the listeners like that after they lied and joke on something serious. Dad woke us up, muttering angrily under his breath that the whole thing was a fraud, not that he never suspected. My younger brother teased at me for being so gullible. I just felt hot in the face, but the radio station was at fault too. In the past radio stations made more stupid broadcasts like: the Martians are coming! And thousands of people panicked. But still, I think its better to be safe than sorry. (566)
The broadcasters should be fired! xD
ReplyDeleteWhat is a H-bomb
ReplyDeleteThe broadcasters cant do thisand if they are found out they will go to jail
ReplyDeletethis kind of things will never happen.the broadcasters should be fored
ReplyDeletethey should be fired after they broadcasted the martians thing
ReplyDeleteuber-unrealistic.
ReplyDeleteplus, just as inconsiderate as sample 11's author.
this is quite bad but quite good ahhhhh i'm confused
ReplyDeleteI agree. Story too unrealistic.
ReplyDeleteNormally, the broadcasters would not broadcast such a thing. If they do, no one would be listening to the radio nowadays.
ReplyDeleteunrealistic story
ReplyDeleteThe story is quite unrealistic, as I do not think any DJ will speak like that, unless they are waiting to be fired when they could just resign themselves. Too unrealistic.
ReplyDeleteI liked it but some points above i want to agree with?
ReplyDeleteUnrealistic, listening to the radio turned on at full blast twelve thirty at night, with your parents sleeping soundly and nobody complaining? o.O
ReplyDeleteDJs will not report these type of thing. Maybe a weather forecaster will be more reasonable...
ReplyDeletea bit irrelogical
ReplyDeleteare you sure you can listen to music in the middle of the night like this???
ReplyDeleteit is B2 Spirit Stealth bomber. The nationality can only be of the United States of America, since Northrop Grumman created it and it is not sold to any other country. B2 is stealthy and cannot be detected by radar.
ReplyDeleteif there is, it will be in the news etc.
a lot of technical errors on aircraft(i love aircraft)
Listening to the radio turned on at full blast twelve thirty at night, with your parents sleeping soundly and nobody complaining? This is a bit weird, right?
ReplyDeleteA bit unrealistic at the ground forces and B-2 Spirit Stealth bombers. However, the ending makes it reasonable.
Finally, the stealth bombers are supposed to stealthy, which means no detection by radar, if not why is it called STEALTH bombers.
The DJ part is also too unrealistic. Is he wanting to be fired by sending this type of message?!
VERY CONFUSING! What do you mean by smashing the tennis racket? The DJs are not supposed to do such a thing. The moral makes me think that your character is kind of stubborn (no offence) as he woul not learn from his mistakes.
ReplyDeleteIt is okay but could be elaborated. Here are a few comments and information. The B2 is my favourite aifcrat. (because of its wings they look very nice.)The B2 cannot be detected by radar. So you might want to stay it is spotted by other aircraft at a higher altitude then the B2. Recomended to be at fifteen thousand feet.(do not say that your aircraft is Spirit of Kanas)
ReplyDelete@Marcus:
ReplyDeleteI dunno how I knew it but some guitars were smashed at the end of songs I dunno why...
If the author stuck to being playing safe, he or she would have wanted to continue staying in the bomb shelter even though the radio was broadcasting ridiculous messages.
ReplyDeleteCrazy. Listening to the radio at full blast when your family is sleeping?!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comments, but good idea about the fake. However, I think the ending does not have a great impact on the reader. The ending a bit like, disappointing, or just not "strong" enough.
ReplyDeleteAre they allowed to prank people to make them panic like that?
ReplyDeleteO_O ...
“We interrupted this program with a shocking piece of news. The country’s military station detected a group of B-2 spirit stealth bombers of unknown nationality heading our way. It was thought to be arriving in two hours. Head for the bomb shelters now! I repeat. We-”
ReplyDeleteThis is unrealistic. B2 Stealh bombers can't even be detected. How could a sonar station detect it? Also, if the B2s were ETA 2 hours away, they wouldn't even be in range of a sonar station! This radio broadcaster will also recieve heavy charge by the law.